Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Invaders! (Charis on blindness caused by umbrellas)

It was only a hundred yards
As Dad is wont to say
One step forwards
And mine right eye I've checked out to pay!

Alas not quite, almost, almost!
Pink roses on black now filled my view
A second ago, I was almost toast
All because the rain fell, and not on cue

Before me, a sea of umbrellas
Above me, the heavens cried
Around me, the crowd not unlike guerrillas
"Metal spokes into "The Mark"!", how they must have tried!

I know, a funny attempt at writing a poem, but if you can't get it yet, it's rainy season in Bangkok! It has been raining almost everyday now and cloudy on days that's not. I like this weather better than the summer season when I must have sweat-off 1kg (yet gained a 2 kgs which doesn't make sense) and when there's actually some wind for the windows to let in! What I don't like about this season is the smelly laundry that won't dry well, being caught in rain that "fell not on cue" and the threat of blindness! 

One evening after a Thai class, I was heading back home as usual and what else can happen but the heaviest rainfall I've ever experienced in Bangkok. By then, I had reached the skytrain station and despite the roof above us, the wind was so strong, everyone had to scramble for cover behind their umbrellas. Yours truly was ill-equipped and had to contend with standing behind a notice board. A nice little lady had the same intention and we laughed later to find that we were still outrageously wet despite the "cover"! I bought an umbrella for myself after that.

Another incident was when I was going to a friend's place yesterday for a movie and it started to rain. I had brought along my aforementioned umbrella and was smug that I was prepared this time. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only smarty pants and seemingly thousands (please allow me some exaggeration, I deserve this much) of umbrellas of all shapes and colours all raised up. I always hate walking through a sea of umbrellas because all (negative) facets of humankind tend to surface then. Allow me to describe each kind:
  1. The Invaders - Easy to spot. Always clutching umbrella close to himself and walking fast, seemingly unaware of him invading the private spaces of the people he passes. Very dangerous, may cause injury - avoid at all costs.
  2. The Clowns - Easier to spot. Holding the umbrella outrageously high above head not unlike a clown in a circus. Unlike The Invaders, Clowns care for the privacy space of people around them but still want to keep as dry as possible. Not dangerous but not very smart - avoid copying at all costs. (Just imagine two Clowns crossing each other.)
  3. The Drenched - Easiest to spot. They are the ones that are given to submission after realizing they cannot walk a decent pace with the umbrella opened and refuse to look like a fool with an umbrella opened and still getting wet. 
You heard it here first! Most people go through each kind in succession. And I'll bet most of us have gotten almost blinded by an Invader. I think we should start campaigning the use of raincoats instead. If only they didn't look so dorky...

Who would've thought elephants need raincoats too?


  1. ooo raincoats and galoshes!!!
    i'd get those for sure!!!

  2. How very British, darrrlin'. Now, let me get my wellies out too and we'll go frolicking in the rain... :D